Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
