'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
