Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
