I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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