who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I need to stop coming to work sober
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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