if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You're like the curious george of whores
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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