I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
