I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
