Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
