I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
