Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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