I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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