Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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