I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize