Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
