hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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