i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
