My room smells like vodka and shame
I could make wine with my vomit
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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