I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
