I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We left the knife in your bed.
He better not be in your backpack
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
