we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm bleeding and have questions
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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