True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Can I color on your dick again?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
