How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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