she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
