i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
