the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize