The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
