i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
there was a trapeze. enough said
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Drunk is not a location!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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