I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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