i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you win again, gameday.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
