That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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