This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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