i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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