Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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