she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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