how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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