Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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