drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Send help, water and tortillas.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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