He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
