Can Purell be used as lube?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
