ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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