You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
