We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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