You made me cry and you don't even care
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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