Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
