when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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