im holly from the hills drunk
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
