come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
