I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
