You're a womanizer and a bitch.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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