you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize