i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
