Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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