i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
