I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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