just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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