She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line