Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.