Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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