I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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