She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
