she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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